I told myself I’d be cautious…

A poem

Photo by Pascal Debrunner on Unsplash

I told myself I'd be cautious with my body,
So I kept my distance and admired you from afar.
I told myself I'd be cautious with my mind,
So I invented stories and countermeasures,
Procedures and protocols to follow,
For the day you'd break my heart.

I was so proud of the day I put my heart in a cage.
I thought I'd won, I felt invincible.
But the damned thing escaped,
And I resent you for aiding it.
I'd sedated and controlled it with crumbs of hope,
But you overfed it and got it addicted to your stash.

Now it's grown too big, greedy and unwieldy,
Foolishly waiting on miracles, believing in fairytales.
Wretched thing still yearns for the drug you sold it,
To relish the high, leaving me to handle the lows.