The cards we’re dealt

A short story (Part 1)

They used to call me Bones when I was still alive.

Now I'm just a nameless, faceless ball of black fur. Roadkill. Not a bad way to go, Tommy would say.

Ah Tommy. That dumb dog. I wonder if he's still alive.

“It's just the cards we're dealt”, he'd always say.

Cards my ass. Scars I'd say.

Scars like the one I've got on my left eye. When I was but a wee kitten, before I could even see, I felt this scar being born. I remember how it burned and my brother's yowl as I fell over him.

I don't know how many of us survived into adulthood, but I do know this - I only lived because I learnt to steal meat faster than my brothers.

Those measly little demons, I loved and hated them at the same time. Our mother abandoned us the minute she finished nursing us. It's a cruel world out there.

Most of the litter didn't survive.

Of all the little devils, I hated Ragdoll the most. My youngest brother, and possibly the only one besides me that survived. All because the humans took him because he had pale eyes.

Idiots.

Superficial dolts.

They'd have taken me too if it wasn't for my scar.

But such is life.

I'll bet that sucker is still alive , sitting on the thick thighs of some wealthy human woman, feasting on fish and milk every damn day, while I've had to scrounge around to survive all my 11 glorious years.

No, cats don't have nine lives. I've barely lived one. I've been mostly miserable except for when Snowflake was with me. Her humans didn't approve of her fraternizing with the likes of me, but she was a rebel.

I remember the soft touch of her fur and the sharpness of her irises. She was as bewitching as she was fickle.

Although it was her betrayal that led me to Tommy.

Foolish dog, raised as a pet, he'd never developed the instinct to survive in the wild. The strays wouldn't accept him and he was too far away from his humans. He scared Snowflake but I saw right through him. Blustering idiot, he never knew when to shut up.

I used him as my own personal henchman, to assert my dominance. No cat would dare defy you when you had a big dumb dog submit to you.

Tommy never understood but played along because he thought I was his friend.

He called me “Bones” because of the bony ribs I had despite eating the most meat in all my neighborhood.

He missed his humans, though it was clear they abandoned him. He never once suspected this though.

“I bet they're worried, they must be looking for me”, he'd tell me late at night as we prowled and foraged.

“Dumb dog”, I'd mutter.

One day some new humans came to claim him. I told him not to go with them, and that they'll just abandon him again.

But he decided to trust them anyway.

Or course, I never saw him again.

…

“They're waiting for you”, said the tall white fox. A guardian of the gates of hell I suppose.

I walked over the threshold. “Follow the red thread of yarn” he called after me.

Poetic, I smirked.

God was a large Maine Coon. The extra fur gave him a sagely look, but I wasn't too impressed by the theatrics.

“Mr.Bones”, said God cat, “Welcome to the afterlife. I'm Helios.”

“Enchanté” I scoffed and shook his paw.

“Any lingering attachments before we bring you through?” He asked.

I raised an eyebrow, and surprisingly my scar didn't hurt. I wasn't in any pain at all considering how I went. That's the afterlife for you I guess.

He sighed, “Is there anyone you wish to see or bid goodbye to?”

“No one remembers me”

“You can still bid them farewell”

“They're probably already dead”

“Tell me who they are”

“Tommy, that dumb dog”, I rolled my eyes.

“You get to visit him in his dream tonight”.

And so it happened.

It seemed that Tommy had become a rescue dog and lived at an animal shelter. He didn't have a long time because of a disease he'd contracted. And he'd eventually figured out that his humans abandoned him because he got sick and they couldn't pay to keep him alive.

I'd imagined Tommy would be heartbroken, but thankfully he was not.

We were back at our favorite trash can in his dream. I told him I'd died.

And Tommy was sad for me.

That foolish dog!

“I wish you'd lived at the shelter with me, Bones”, he sobbed, “you should have come with me when the humans rescued me. They'd find you a home too”

“I lived and died a free cat, Tommy… I wasn't letting dumb humans take that away from me”

“You're just scared of abandonment” he yelped and smothered me in a hug. “Did you say goodbye to your brother yet and to Snowflake?”

“No I wasn't going to…” I trailed off…

“They must be happier now, and I doubt they remember me. I don't want to ruin their perfect lives, Tommy, as a stupid ghost visiting them in their dreams…” I said angrily, “It's just the cards we're dealt - I would rather not see their cards and drown in envy”

I didn't realize that my tirade had caused the dream to destabilize. Tommy was waking up in the real world. I must have startled him.

“Enjoy the rest of your days, ye dumb dog!” I yelled as I found myself in a sandpit at the Maine Coon’s office.

“Touching reunion?” He asked nonchalantly.

“Very”, I muttered, “Can we move on now?”

“No one else you'd like to say goodbye to?” He asked, “not even Snowflake and Ragdoll?”

“How do you know their names?!” I demanded.

“I know everything about everything” he sighed, “and believe me, that doesn't make it easier. Not one bit”

“Just Ragdoll.. '' I gritted my teeth.

My perfect runt of a brother. I'd always wondered if the humans would have chosen me if I wasn't scarred.

If only I was fluffier…

If only I wasn't ugly

If only I wasn't a black cat

If only…

How I hated Ragdoll.

How could we have shared the same blood, but not share the same fate?

(To be continued…)